Back in 2016, I felt like I was unstoppable, I felt like nothing was ever going to come my way. But on the last days of 2016 I lost my mum. It was one of the most painful things that I could ever experience. From that day till the first day of September 2018, I’ve felt like I have been carrying a great weight on my shoulders.
I didn’t really know what this weight was but I stopped feeling like I was unstoppable. I watched my creativity fail. I used to be on top of my game in 2016, blogging every single week and really being in tune with myself and life. But ever since the day my mum died I switched up. It wasn’t just about my mum dying but everything that has happened since that day.
2017 was a total shit storm. I completely forgot who I was and who I wanted to be. (Read the 2017 story here).
At the end of the year I got myself back a little. I started feeling happy again. The truth was I was happy with a baggage. I felt like I was carrying a secret around and I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. I felt like something was wrong with me but I didn’t know how to express it, mostly cause I wasn’t sure what was wrong.
I needed a therapist, I just wanted to talk everything out. I needed someone to ask me questions I needed to answer. I tried finding one.
1st of September 2018, I talked to my friend though it wasn’t a full disclosure but he helped me understand why I felt the way I did.
I wasn’t depressed I was just confused on my unsettled emotions.
I feel a lot better, even if I still want to talk with a therapist. They are like the best friend you tell everything and can sue if they tell anyone else. Sounds fun.